The Treadmill is My Enemy.

So tonight, newly invigorated with energy from God knows where, I worked out. Not at the gym, no, my part-time job and seemingly endless gas costs prevent me from joining a 24-hour facility with shiny machines, weights, and buff bods. I actually trekked down to the arctic cold basement to use the family treadmill. Set in Cardio mode, incline at 8%, I spent 45 long minutes watching The Office on TBS and jogging, in place.

There's just something about a treadmill that makes me dizzy. First of all, there's no wind resistance. It's just running, but without the benefit of a self-made breeze to cool you down. Not that I needed cooling down in the sixty degree basement, but the air does seem less fresh when you're breathing in the same cubic foot of oxygen. And then there's the monotony of the run itself. At least outside you can turn down random streets, swing by a park, avoid a heinous hill or even pull a Rocky up a lengthy flight of stairs. Unless the treadmill comes equipped with fancy gears to swing into alternating inclines and a screen to make me "believe" I'm running on a sunny beach, I'm really just sweating in my parents crap-filled basement.

Now the elliptical is a machine I can respect. At least on that one I actually feel the muscles that are lit up on that little body diagram on the screen- calves, hamstrings, quads, butt. It's like the manufacturers knew that by providing that diagram, whoever was on the machine would be relieved by the reassurance that- Yes! you really are getting what the machine promised! Look! Those little lights were right! I can really feel it! Not to mention that on the elliptical you can go backwards. Have you ever tried to go backwards on the treadmill? I haven't dared to myself, but I'm sure myriad viral video posters can amuse you with their attempts.

And to end with a question for any exercise-minded readers out there, why is it that I rarely get a stitch in my side on the elliptical, but on the treadmill I feel like my ribcage is giving me the finger, big time? Maybe I'm just an awkward runner. And what do you do for those little buggers? Breathe? Drink water? Stretch? I really would like to know, especially since mom's treadmill will be my sole form of cardio exercise in the immediate future. Meanwhile, let's hope this new burst of exercise enthusiasm stays with me. Miley and I are back on our way to being in shape! (as long as we can stay away from my parents' kitchen...)